How Kansas City Are You?

If you’re sitting around this summer wondering what to do, you may think there’s nothing left. 
You’ve done all the sites, attended all the events and patronized all the places in town, right? 
Let’s just see about that. 
Here’s a way to test just how “Kansas City” you really are. See how many of the items you’ve done, 
and score yourself accordingly. Maximum points are listed for each section (multiple hits don’t count). 
And, of course, we’re on the honor system here. 
At the end, you’ll see what your point total means. All you get for your score is humiliation or 
exultation. But you might also learn something or even find inspiration for a new field trip with the kids 
or night out on the town. 
Have fun. 

A FACE IN THE CROWD (34 points max) 

A Chiefs game AND a Royals game 
No? Just moved here, right? 
Yes. 2 points. 
Sporting KC, our only reigning pro sports champs. 
No? It’s OK now. They took that Lance Armstrong thing off the stadium. 
Yes. 2 points 
T-Bones baseball. 
No? You’re not a real baseball fan. 
Yes. 5 points. 
FC Kansas City, our professional women’s soccer team. 
No? Get out there. Girls need role models too. 
Yes. 10 points. 
The Missouri Mavericks. 
No? Think somewhere between “Miracle on Ice” and “Slap Shot.” 
Yes: 10 points. 
5 extra points if you own a Monarchs, Spurs, Kings or Scouts jersey. 

BBQ BINGES (22 points max) A big name (Bryant’s, Gates, OK Joes’s, Jack Stack, etc.) 

No? How’s that vegan thing working out for ya? 
Yes. 2 points. 
A local favorite (Haywood’s, Zarda, LC’s, K&M, etc.). 
No? Take the blinders off and start exploring. 
Yes. 5 points. 
A barbecue contest (American Royal, Lenexa) 
No? These mouth-watering meat meets also educate and entertain. 
Yes. 5 points. 
Hawg Jaw Fritz. The name alone makes it special. 
No? Shame on you. Riverside’s nice this time of year. 
Yes. 10 points. 


Union Station, Truman Library, Liberty Memorial — field trip evergreens. 
No? They have medication for people afraid to leave home. 
Yes. 2 points. 
The Scout at Penn Valley Park. 
No? Seriously? It’s only KC’s most famous icon. 
Yes. 2 points 
A pioneer place (Shawnee Mission, Case Park, Steamboat Arabia, etc.) 
No? Slept through local history class, did you? 
Yes: 5 points. 
A home of the rich and famous (John Wornall, Thomas Hart Benton, Nelly Don, etc.) 
No? Google the names and get going. 
Yes: 10 points. 
5 extra points if you know what’s in Nelly Don’s house now. 


Boulevard Beer and Roasterie tours. 
No? You have no taste, at least when it comes to KC icons. 
Yes: 2 points. 
A car assembly plant (GM in Fairfax, Ford in Claycomo) No? Slacker. They’re vital engines driving the metro’s economy. 
Yes: 5 points. 
Harley-Davidson plant 
No? Snob. 
Yes: 5 points. 
Fritz’s Superior Sausage Co. 
No? Afraid you’ll get a little queasy watching them make sausage? 
Yes: 10 points. 
Seeing it featured in a TV documentary doesn’t count. 


Sprint Center 
No? It’s that big round thing downtown. 
Yes. 2 points. 
Kemper Arena 
No? Hurry, it may be gone soon. 
Yes. 5 points. 
Municipal Auditorium 
No? More KC sports history resides here than any other venue. 
Yes. 10 points. 
Municipal Stadium 
No? You missed the Monarchs, the A’s, the Beatles, the greatest Chiefs and the first Royals. 
Yes. 15 points (because you are OLD). 


Dipping your tootsies in one of the metro’s many fountains. 
No? Your feet can’t be that ugly. 
Yes: 2 points. 
A walk on the wild side at Swope Park Zoo. 
No? Too bad. It beats Animal Planet or Nat Geo any day. 
Yes. 2 points. 
Ice skating at Crown Center. 
No? Guess what — nobody expects you to try a triple toe loop. Yes: 5 points. 
No? Your insurance company thanks you. 
Yes: 5 points. 
Richard Petty Experience at Kansas Speedway. 
No? You’re a wuss. It’s only a long, fast left turn. 
Yes: 10 points. 
Five points extra credit if you’ve been to Lakeside Speedway, a historic cradle of local racing. 


Nelson-Atkins-Kemper, National World War I Museum, Negro League Museum, Jazz Museum 
No? None of them? You’re supposed to get off the bus on field trips. 
Yes: 2 points. 
Starlight Theater 
No? Got something against train whistles? 
Yes. 2 points. 
The Folly Theater 
No? Sure, we know what they used to show there. Get over it. 
Yes. 5 points. 
An art fair (Plaza, Brookside, Prairie Village, etc.) 
No? Hobby Lobby and Michael’s are nice, but … 
Yes: 5 points. 
10 extra points if you’ve been to a First Friday in the Crossroads Art District. 


A classic KC steak house (Golden Ox, Hereford House, Plaza III, etc.) 
No? You get no respect in this town, except from cows. 
Yes. 2 points. 
Savoy Grill or the Majestic – historic dining. 
No? So you’re better than Truman, Teddy Roosevelt, Disney and Hemmingway? 
Yes. 5 points. 
A down market yum emporium (Stroud’s, Kelly’s, Dixon’s etc.) 
No? Think outside the franchise. Yes: 5 points. 
American Restaurant at Crown Center (lofty view with a bill to match). 
No? Cheapskate. 
Yes. 10 points. 
Jess and Jim’s Steakhouse 
No? Your GPS will find Martin City for you. 
Yes. 10 points. 
Add 10 points if you survived the 75-ounce steak challenge. 


A Russell Stover shop, Topsy’s, etc. 
No? C’mon, your dentist has bills to pay. 
Yes. 2 points. 
Spin Pizza 
No: Your imagination is as flat as a pizza crust. 
Yes. 5 points. 
Glace Artisan Ice Cream 
No? Elbow is more than those joints on your arms. 
Yes. 10 points. 
Forfeit 5 points if you skipped the Christopher Elbow chocolate 


The Plaza Lights on Thanksgiving 
No? Get up from the dinner table, turn off the football game and get stuck in traffic with the rest of us. 
Yes. 5 points. 
American Royal 
No? You’re dissing this town’s roots. 
Yes. 5 points 
St. Patty’s Day Parade 
No? Too wasted by 11 a.m., no doubt. 
Yes. 5 points. 
The Nutcracker holiday tradition No? Whatcha got against tutus? 
Yes. 10 points. 
Perfect score: 271 

How did you do? 

0-50: When are you up for parole? 
51-100: That couch must be pretty worn out by now. 
101-150: You’re stuck on the easy ones. 
151-200: Your spunk still sputters, so get to work. 
201-250: You can stay. 
250+: You put your neighbors to shame (if that’s possible).